If Walls Break Down
by putarrilla
Summary: She is a Queen after all, isn't she? Queens don't cry. Queens are never weak. They bottle it all up. But she's also human and humans break. - My take on Regina's mind after Robin leaves. One-shot.


**Hey guys! First fanfic in english about this show ( I've written another one about Witches Of East End) and I'm so excited! This idea just popped into my mind and I had to get it out. It's a short One-shot but I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

**Ps: I wrote this while listening to ****Ella Henderson's cover of ****"Rule The World" by Take That so feel free to listen to it while reading ;)**

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She shot up in bed. Her eyes were burning and they weren't even focused yet. She could feel the black spots pulsing and her shallow breath coming and going.

It had been like this for a few nights now: she went to bed and had a glimpse at their picture on her nightstand and manage to fall asleep with a relaxed expression because at least she had a taste of true love again.

But then she would dream about him. About his kisses, his touches, his voice and his eyes. And it wasn't enough. The taste was addicting. She needed another fix, she needed another high. Because he was different from Daniel. He loved her despite her darkness. He touched her despite her wrongdoings. He was by her side.

He was gone actually. Vanished.

The only proves that he was real at all were the pity looks people from the town casted her now. It was ridiculous really, but she let it happen. She stepped down from her regal position. She redeemed herself and exposed herself and now people that she never spoke to knew too much about her past.

So now she sat at her bed in the middle of the night trying hard to shake away the demons that were creeping in. Her eyes were of no use, too fogy so they were closed. Squeezed shut so strongly that it might give her a headache. She could feel dark magic pulsing through her veins, begging to be released.

She was so angry. At herself, at Tinkerbell, at the Author. She wanted to explode, to kill, to have something that could make people hate her again because pity was the last drop. Because she was one of the most powerful sorceress of all the realms and people pitied her because once again Regina Mills lost her lover.

_Be good. Be brave. Remember Henry._

"Don't break." She whispered but she did break. Her voice trembled and tears fell and she had never cried before but tonight she was reminded about their time on her vault. About the sweet kisses and the tenderness and the peaceful sleep.

Suddenly the room was too small. Everything around her was closing in and the tears burned her skin and the air wasn't enough. She threw the covers off of her. Those damn covers that still smelled like him.

She opened her window and even with the breeze everything was static. He had chased away all the darkness but he was gone and it was coming back and damn it why could she never be happy? Why could she never love fully and simply?

The tears were burning her skin and the air was static and he was gone. Robin was gone and he could never come back and she could see them spending their lives together. She could imagine herself waking up to him every day but he had left. And his eyes didn't look at her with love anymore and his smile wasn't the brightest and his dimples weren't the second deepest. The little one that had the first place was gone too. Had to stay with his momma, had to go.

She still had Henry though. Her sweet, encouraging, brave son and he was enough, he would always be and she would always go by. For him. And she still had Snow. Caring, intelligent and forgiving Snow. And she was of good help. Hell, she even had Emma. Tough, brave and irritating Emma. The savior.

But Snow's eyes weren't Robin's. Emma didn't have a beard. Henry wasn't as tall as he was. But they were good enough.

Her tears had to stop.

And they did.

Years and years of practicing had taught her how to contain herself when she had to.

Robin was gone and she had dreamed about them together and he probably wouldn't come back and the last few dark spots he had yet to heal would take a little longer to disappear.

But they would eventually.

Regina took a deep breath and now she could feel the breeze. She cleaned the burning tear-tracks and closed her window again.

The ache in her soul wouldn't fade but she would get through it. She swore that much to herself as she lay on her bed again.

She would push away the evil on her own. Because of Henry, of Snow and Emma. Because of Roland and because of Robin.

Her dear outlaw.

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**I hope you've enjoyed it and no, I'm not in the Outlaw Queen Week.**


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